Parents perceive their children as a part of themselves, as their own extension. They also want to think of their children are as smart and capable as them.
If the child is unsuccessful, the parents say “He is smart but lazy, he doesn’t want to study.” Such an attitude of parents gives them the right to pressure children to learn or train some sport, dance, attend acting classes, learn foreign languages … However, success is influenced not only by abilities but also by interests and personality traits. Unfortunately, some parents don’t care much about the interests of their child…
The attitude of this type of parents is “it doesn’t matter what you are interested in.” “You should study something that will get you a lot of money so you can live a nice life”. What such parents should know is that if children are not interested in something, they cannot be good at it. They especially cannot be the best in it.
When they have too many responsibilities, children are deprived of the opportunity to spend time in accordance with their needs. They can’t choose what to do or who to hang out with. And that can then lead to a decrease in self-initiative and creativity because the child becomes a person who meets other people’s expectations. This can n have a bad effect on coping in a group of peers, and later on choosing a life partner.
According to psychologists, nowadays, parents generally do not achieve their unfulfilled ambitions through their children. However, they see their children as an investment, as a way out of poverty. Fear of the future, insecurity, and uncertainty cause parents to see in their children security that they cannot provide for themselves when they get old. Depending on what kind of person they are, parents more or less put pressure on their children.
Fortunately, often both parents do not have the same attitude. Children should be encouraged, motivated, but not pressured. The difference between these two attitudes is often unclear, and the solution is to know yourself and your children well. Parents who are committed to their children know how to distinguish between a passing crisis and resistance. Above all, they must be authorities to their children and show them by personal example how they treat work.
Parents who often complain about their work, who are reluctant to go to work, cannot expect their children to be different. Problems deepen when children are not so successful, despite all the investments and training. Children struggle with personal, but also dissatisfaction of parents.
Children get the impression that their parents are unhappy because of them. In that way, they take great responsibility on themselves in order to make the family happy, so they do not do what they love, but satisfy the needs of parents for successful children, and it happens that they develop various aggressive responses.